"the curveball is your friend"

Over the past few years some decent size changes have headed my way. Whether it was planned, inevitable, or it hit me by surprise, changes have occured. Some for the good and some for the bad. The reason I have decided to blog is because a combination of these changes.

Graduating college was a great accomplishment. Anyone who knows me knows that I did not always try my hardest in school, ever. I managed to make B's with a few A's and a few C's. Who knows what i could have done with a little effort. I was more concerned with playing Baseball and Football than I was making an A on the next days test. And by the time i was full steam ahead in college, my new favortie sport was "drink the beer". So, 4 and a half years and 30 pounds later, here I am...

JJJJJJuuuuuusssttttt kidding...

But seriously now. College was good to me for the most part. After leaving high school, i would have never thought in a million years that I would ever join a fraternity. A good friend showed me that being in a fraternity can be more than just beer, parties, and girls. He showed me that I can be a leader, something that I was my entire life. The beer, parties, and girls were an added bonus.

Along the way I made many mistakes, did people wrong, and said and did things I can never take back. I am a loving and happy person and I lose sleep at night rethinking decisions I had once made. I am completely awesome at saying what is on my mind. (This is not a good thing). I blame it on my lack of faith lately. My walk with Christ has really suffered over the past year and my faith is hurting because of it. I know that if i was stronger in my faith, i would have avoided many of those bad mistakes. So im laying it out there right now, hoping to be forgiven and understood for who I really am. I know the people who have seen me make these mistakes and even the people who were affected by them know who i really am. And i apologize to all of them for any wrong-doing that i have done to them or anyone close to them. There is a particular person i owe many apologies to and if she will let me say them one day i will be happy to do so. Just bc i am hurt does not give me the right to lash out.